Having open communication between people of different age groups can be rewarding but also really challenging. One of our volunteers asked a great question – How do I tell a member no, nicely? We don’t want to stamp out or dismiss an idea or suggestion that maybe took a lot of courage from someone to announce and yet, we can’t do everything.

One way to embrace their suggestion and yet help them see the limitations of it is to explore their idea further with more questions (which is called the socratic method!). How would we go about making this happen? Do we have the resources to make this realistic or achievable? What can we use from this idea to still make some part of it work? Does this idea follow the rules or policies we need to in order to be safe? If you get stuck for questions, think of a SWOT analysis – strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats to help inspire. Keep asking questions until the group reaches an understanding or a plan of action.

Embracing the idea and using it as a teaching moment for both of you and the group, accepts the idea-giver and acknowledges the idea as valid, and it also shows the idea-giver how to do more critical thinking while also gently guiding them to an understanding that it might not be possible. You aren’t telling them no, but helping them see all the facets themselves of what goes into their idea, and sometimes that can be illuminating. Don’t forget that going through this process can enlighten you too – this idea might actually work!

It’s also a good idea to take into consideration the age of the youth, their stage in development and the needs, challenges and characteristics they might have. For that, check out this great handout from the Missouri 4-H: https://taylor.extension.wisc.edu/files/2010/12/agesstagesofyouth.pdf